The dissapointment

asons. Anyway, then there was some “stability” from 1991 – 1996. And then again we went through a few Prime Ministers over a course of 2 years from 1996 -1998. There was wastage of national money and to think that the very people who were not responsible for their actions and were indulging in ‘by-the-minute’ coalitions also had the power in their hands was pretty scary! The lack of accountability and the nonchalance were glaring. Now, all of this instability happened right around the time of my cross-over from adolescence to adulthood, and looking back I can see how that phase has a big influence on our perspective of the world around us. The political instability brought about a basic distrust. I had become quite cynical and indifference seemed like the only way out. I was happy to get out of the country, happy to go away to far away America.

While in the US, I was content to just keep track of the happenings in India from a distance. And over a period of time we got involved with the events in the US. We discussed and analysed the political scenario there – Clinton’s 2nd term, Bush vs Gore, Gray Davis vs Arnold Schwarzenegger, Iraq war, the varied allegations against Karl Rowe etc. It was an involvement from my head (and not from my heart) and some of the emotions that I experienced were intrigue, anger, sarcastic awe (!) etc. Interestingly, I never ‘felt’ like how I did while in India; betrayed or cheated or anything as basic as that. Mostly because, as Indians, I don’t think we can ever get affected by politics anywhere else as much as we do here. It is just the sense of belonging showing up, I guess.

Since R2Iing, a lot of things have been going on here in Indian politics. And with the recent forced resignation of Dayanidhi Maran over a family feud, the Prime Minister having no say at all in the matter and being at the receiving end of the coalition forces’ whims, the feeling of disappointment is returning. (As an aside, it is funny to see how President Kalam is all for the 2-party system, and in the US, people want more choices and not be left with just the republicans and the democrats.) Slowly, I can see that all those feelings that I left behind are creeping back in. At the end of the day, I can sense the same cynicism, and the same indifference. Sad, but true. Sad, because personally I think indifference is the most harmful. Somehow, the years away in the US had helped keep the earlier negative feelings away. I am discovering that the feelings are right there, around the corner, waiting to peep out and give a grand show, at the behest of those in power.

PS: These 3 paragraphs have been quite hard to work on. I know a couple of you were wondering why I hadn’t posted anything. From the time the ‘Maran’ issue cropped up, I have been working on this post!

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