A Huge Personal Loss

This post is not going to be easy for me to write. I lost my father a couple of weeks ago to his prolonged illness caused by the metastasized prostate cancer. Diagnosed at an advanced stage 6.5 years ago, it has been a long hard battle for all of us. At the time of diagnosis, he was given about 18 months. We, of course, beat that estimate by many a mile! For almost 4 years after the diagnosis, he managed to lead a fairly normal life, with some amount of nagging issues. This was with the help of the cancer drugs and in parallel taking Ayurvedic treatment specific for cancer from an Ayurvedic cancer center in Kerala.

To the external world of course, he looked his hale, hearty, healthy self – energetic, robust and enthusiastic. So, we let that be. We hardly mentioned it to anybody we ran into on a daily basis. He wanted to be seen not as a cancer patient, but a regular retired person going about his everyday business. Some of you who are my friends and who are reading about this only now maybe very surprised reading this and all that is going to follow in this post.

After a fairly bearable 4 yrs, started his suffering. It was an extremely slow, steady deterioration. The cancer triumphed with tenacity and strength. He has had extreme pain/discomfort practically in every part of his body. We have been through many, many challenges in these years. The sure deterioration started about 2 years ago. But it was the last one year that was really really bad on him, and on those of us who saw him succumb steadily. What hurt the most was to watch the cancer eat into his immense energy and unbridled enthusiasm.

The deal with caring for the terminally ill is the knowing that you are fighting a losing battle right from the start. It is almost impossible to feel hopeful, and you almost always feel helpless. After all what you are up against is so much more bigger and vicious than anything you have ever encountered. But, what I must say is how my mom in spite of it all was always hopeful and tried to find solutions to all of the complications. Regular western cancer medicines can only help you so much, especially in handling the complications that arise because of cancer. So, you must find workarounds practically on your own. And my mom worked miracles in trying to read, research, and find many alternative solutions to simply make his everyday living a lot more livable. I admire her spirit and strength in staying hopeful in spite of knowing the downhill road we were on.

As I conclude, I want to share this one evening from many many years ago, from the early 80s. Then, my parents and I lived on the Old Airport road in Bangalore. And seeing planes in the sky from the door-step was an everyday thing. But I had still not seen a plane from close quarters. And one evening, my dad took my mom and me to the airport. We just had to take a ride to the airport. In those days, the old airport didn’t even have compound walls, just a fence to separate the airport boundary from the sidewalk on the Airport road. We  found a spot from where we could watch a plane from real close. I was about 7 or so, and my dad in his late 30s. I still distinctly remember him looking down at me after I had seen the plane. He was young, robust, in the pink of health (he was very healthy for most of his life, that is until the cancer infested his body), a head full of very thick pitch black hair and ….. smiling. And for some reason that image of him has come to be ever lasting. His smile had so much of love for me ….. me, his only child. Who knew, years later, it was that image that was going to stay imprinted in my mind. Especially after having seen him succumb and crumble to the dreaded growth inside. The physical changes in the last year were so hard to watch. The cancer was succeeding and we couldn’t do a thing to prevent it.

What a life he led! He was very hardworking,  honest, energetic, always on his feet, never down with even a fever, paid a lot of attention to details, understood things at length, spoke to everybody he came across, and to now know that he is no more is heartbreaking to say the least. My children are too young to know what is it they have lost. He loved them sooo much and now they don’t even know the huge source of unconditional love that they have lost …. forever :( But I know that loss, and that makes it all the more hard on me. My dear children having to grow up without my dear father.

My dad with my daughter, Aug 03 in our Calif home. He loved, adored her. (That head full of hair never came back in full after all the chemo.  Oh the chemo and the toll it takes! Hair loss is the least of all miseries.)In the end, my parents came out with flying colors.

  • He, for enduring the disease
  • and She, for battling it for him.

They are my heroes for all that they have been. I got to witness both – his endurance and her battle. And to watch it helplessly has been the greatest test of my strength. I kept quiet for most of last year. I haven’t spoken about it in detail to too many people, just to a couple of good friends. Keeping to myself in the midst of all this seemed like the default choice. Of course, my husband always was my greatest support. Together, we got to see it all. It has been 2 years since we returned to Bangalore, and we managed to spend time with him on almost all days that we were in Bangalore in that period.

I am thankful to all our extended family members who helped us immensely in all ways possible. I was with my dad when he breathed his last, just the way I wanted it. It is going to take me a long time to get over the grief. I am afraid, I may never get over it completely. And …. I am ok with that.

PS: If you know of anybody who is dealing with cancer (prostate in particular) and if s/he or a family member wants to talk to somebody about it, please feel free to give them my email – chitra [_] aiyer [@] yahoo [.] com. I will be more than happy to share from experience and share ways by which we managed the complications. And if somebody wants an ear to listen to their plight, I will be happy to visit (anywhere in Bangalore). Because I know how exceptionally difficult it can be for close family members to talk to the affected person. It is easier for an unattached person.I will also be happy to give doc/hospital details, and lastly the contact details of the palliative team that we came to so depend on in the last 1.5 years. The palliative team is so praiseworthy that I will be writing about those docs and nurses in detail in another post.


89 Responses to “A Huge Personal Loss”

  1. My most deepest condolences to you and your family. My prayers are with you all.

  2. Oh Chitra,

    As I read this post, I just can’t stop my tears……that photograph of your father with your little girl totally got me.

    I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart is completely with you.

    A friend is just a ping, a call away.

    Take care

    Arch

  3. Chitra,

    This is indeed a great loss. I can relate to how you feel. I’ve seen both of my grand parents in their death bed, till the point where they dropped dead right in front of me.

    My sincere condolences for the massive loss. Its not going to be easy. I still cannot come to terms with the loss of my grandfather. I know its hard. When you need to talk or when you need help, i will be with you.

    Love,

    Dilip

  4. Chitra, I am sorry about your loss. The picture of your dad with Shreya is just beautiful. I am sure he was very glad to have the years he did with your children, and with you. I hope you find peace and comfort in writing about him and being with your family.

    Laurie

  5. My deepeset condolonces to your family.

  6. I’m really sorry about this loss to you, i’d suggest if time permits and you’ve the frame of mind to read through “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. (Just in case you’ve not read it).

  7. Chitra this was indeed a difficult post to write.. it was also a difficult post to read (eyes misty and all)… but the photo got me…

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts…may your father Rest In Peace…

  8. i’m sorry about the loss. i know how it feels..before 4 years my mom was down with cancer and by god’s grace she recovered..we felt the same way too…

  9. Chitra,
    Very sorry to hear about this. I understand that it is indeed very difficult to accept what has happened.
    But, I am sure he died a very proud man. Proud of having such a wonderful family who were always there with him.

    May his soul rest in peace.

    My deepest condolences.

    God Bless.

  10. We all are with you.
    Your dad is within you & he’ll always will be, this part of your life has made me think more about my parents, because parents as you know tend to behave like kids as they get old & its tough to tell them to follow a routine but we’ve to do it.
    Your dad is the luckiest one coz he has such a gem of a person as his daughter.
    I just wanna say this, Your father is Happy & he’s proud:-)

    Harsha

  11. Chitra, Please accept my condolences. I can see how deeply his illness and death have affected you. It will take a while before you can come to terms with it all. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.

    I lost both my parents to cancer and I have seen them suffer both from the disease and the treatment. So I know exactly what your family went through. It is nt easy to see a loved one suffer like that and be totally helpless to do anything to alleviate it. And it is wonderful that you want to be of some moral support to people needing it.

    I know there isn’t much I can say to make you feel better. I hope you will soon regain your strength and cheerfulness.

  12. My deepest condolences. More power to you and your family to deal with the irreplaceable loss.

  13. Chitra, i cried reading your post . your dad was one of the most sincere and honest persons that i’ ve ever met. i remember how he would have this list of dos and donts for you each time you left for hostel- i was there for one of them-and you told me he said the same thing each time.but when he said it, it was with so much passion ……it would be hard to believe that he did this every time . he would take great care to enquire at length about each one of our (your friends)parents ,siblings…with so much attention and remember all details till the next time we met. He was also such a egoless person….almost childlike in his innocence .
    Chitra, i think that he was really proud of you and must have been happy to see you settled so well.His was a life lived to the fullest ……thanks to your mom ,you ,your hub and the kids he loved so much .

  14. Dear Chitra, this is a shock to me. I was reading with tears rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. My deepest condolences. I have heard people say that time will heal but I really don’t know how. I am sure of one thing though. When we go thru so much of sorrow, God gives us the strength too. See how your mom was strong for everyone. Just keep thinking of all the good times you had with him. Fill your mind with positives. May your Appa’s soul rest in peace.
    Love,
    Geetha

  15. I am extremely sorry for you loss. I have never known my Grandpas as well but have come to admire them by the way my parents talk about them.

    I am at a loss of any further words of comfort. My deepest condolences.

  16. Chitra,

    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

    Understand the agony that he has gone through. Similar thing we faced in our family. But, he could’nt fight beyong 6 months. Your father is a very strong person and his endurance has kept him battling for that long.

    May his soul rest in peace.

    Manjunath

  17. Chitra, I don’t know what to say except that I know how special fathers are.

    May you have the strength to come out of this and may you hold onto your memories of him in a happy way.

    Hugs,
    Swati

  18. Very sorry to hear about your dad. He will indeed live on – in your mind, in your memories and in your expressions. I hope his smile etched within you will radiate, and bring comfort to everyone around.
    The viewfinder is a healer of sorts, I sincerely hope it helps ease some of the anguish. May his soul rest in peace, and his memory give your family all the warmth in the world.

    Love
    Arvind

  19. Chitra

    I am saddened to hear about this. My sincere condolences for your family’s loss. May his soul rest in peace.

    Niranj

  20. Huge huge hugs to you and your family chitra. I cannot even imagine the pain you must all be going through to lose someone so special in your lives.
    Please know our thoughts are with you lovely lady…
    Kia Kaha – stand strong
    Arohanui – with much love
    Gina, Jay, Reef and Tyde in New Zealand
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  21. Chitra, very sorry to hear that. I could understand the pain. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

  22. chitra,
    heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

    lost my parents at a young age. i feel bad that i couldn’t really get to savour the parents-children relation.

    had written a post when a friend’s dad passed away. sharing the link here:

    When a loved one dies

    regards
    rk

  23. I cam empathize with you, Chitra. I recently lost my aunt in Chennai. For the last two years, she fought bravely against breast cancer and bone cancer but it was of no avail. The photo of him with your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. It helps to know that we are not alone.

    venky

  24. my deepest condolence..my uncle died 4 years before due to”bone cancer” he was a fine athlete in his hey days..after his death only we came to know that he had a cancer with him… and no body believes that , how the cancer should attack a healthy person.( he led very systematic life till his last day!!!

  25. I am so so sorry Chitra.

  26. My wife forwarded this to me. It was so touching.

    I wish that you are able to come to terms with this big loss very soon leaving with you only the happy moments etched in your memory forever.

    I can only admire the strength and courage with which your family and you have been facing this tough battle in all these days.

  27. It’s a loss that never gets filled !! Your love for your father will give you strength!! You and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers!!

  28. Hello Chitra,
    Deeply deeply sorry for your loss, Chitra. Your blog brought tears to my eyes, after all he was my uncle. My mom’s favorite brother, whom she adored. I can just imagine what ‘s going thro your mind each day as you try to relive each moment spent with him and hold those precious memories close to your heart. I can think of so many wonderful moments spent with you and your parents in bangalore every time I visited. Those will never be forgotten. He loved you dearly and always talked about you. For all of us, he will continue to live thro you. May God give you and your mom lots and lots of strength to cope with the loss. Take care.
    Regards, Jyoti

  29. Hi Chitra,
    I’m so sorry to hear this. I know there’s nothing I can say that’ll take away your pain, but I just wanted to tell you that I’ll pray to God to give you and your family the courage to get through this.

    -Madhu

  30. So sorry to hear about your loss Chitra. You have lots of memories of the good times with him and you have to just focus on them.

  31. Chitra

    I am very sorry to hear about your dad. Parents somehow are magically expected to live forever. But our memories of them stay on in our lives and holding onto them become v imp. Hugs and take care

  32. Hi Chitra,

    My sincere condolences to you and your family.

    Take Care,
    Smitha

  33. Dear Chitra,

    I am not sure where to big, i read and re-read your thoughts and emotions posted above. My sincere condolences to you and your family, especially to your mom.

    Even though i want to write 1000 words, i will keep it brief here. I want to say , it is hard for anyone to understand your pain, grief and emotions at this point. Its hard to see someone you love in pain and loose them. Hope you will pull strengths to help yourself , mom and rest of your family.

    I am sure your dad is very proud of you for having and raising a daughter like you, your thoughts particularly at the airport is lesson for me as a dad how important it is human relations and how much i should do, just the way your dad did, to my little one … from the past we move to our future … with what they gave us memories, love, support and sometimes just by saying “it is going to be ok”.
    God bless you. I am sure he lives in yours and everyone’s thoughts and prayers he met in his life.

    Proud to know you. Good to be your friend.

    thanks,
    Arun

  34. Very sorry to hear this.

    Some things are never gone
    Take care.

  35. Dear Chitra,

    I am really sorry for your loss. My most heartfelt condolences to you and your family. The photo of your dad with your daughter is so touching…
    Please take great care of yourself and of your mom

    Laura
    (marla_lu on flickr)

  36. My deepest condolences for your loss..It was a very touching story and in the end I am almost in tears..I takes great courage from him and all of you having known of his ailment, I really commend you and your family members for that. I know how it feels to lose someone who is very close. This the time for showing the utmost inner strength, I am sure he will be a proud father and family member to have you all around him during his last years and he will be alive in all of his dearest member’s thoughts. Please take good care of you and your family.
    Love,
    Srinivas ( Aliveandclicking on flickr)

  37. Dear Chitra,

    Very sad and sorry to hear of your loss.
    May his soul rest in peace.

    May you find courage and strength through this tough period.

    Please accept my condolences

    Regds,
    Rajesh/Rags

  38. Dear Chitra,

    We are very sorry to hear the news. Hope God gives you, G and mami the strength during this tough period. I remember him very well when he and mami was here in US with his regular walks in the big park.

    regards,
    Chitra and Hari.

  39. Dear Chitra,
    I’d like to extend my deepest condolences to you and your family members on the huge loss.
    There are no words to console a friend who’d gone through a tremendous loss!.
    May God bless all of us and give the strengh to take these unfortunate things and move on!
    Please take care!
    Regards,
    Haja Sheriff ( from Flickr).

  40. Dear Chitra,

    I am deeply saddened to hear this. My sincere condolences .

    Things like this are hard to express in words. You and your family remain in our thoughts and prayers.

    God Bless.

    – Ali

  41. My deepest condolences..
    My his soul rest in peace…

  42. Dear Chitra,
    Shocked to hear the news!! We can definitely paint his picture in our mind, the way he used to run behind sreya in the park, his energy, his affection.. and we can go on and on.

    Our sincere sympathies to you and your family. It must have been very hard on you all… definitely to your mom!! Kudos to her for showing the positive attitude all through the period.

    God bless his soul.

    -Saradhi and Pallavi.

  43. Dear Chitra,
    Sorry to hear about your loss, may his soul rest in peace. My condolences to you and your family.

    Prasanna

  44. Chitra,

    My condolences to you and your family. I am sorry your father had to suffer so much. I am glad you are able to remember and celebrate him for his great qualities and abilities.

    Regards,
    jayashree

  45. My condolences to you and your family. Watching a loved one fall to something unseen and over a period of time really does pull you down. It is great that you will forever remember your father for what he was and his love for you.

    Regards
    Sriram

  46. My deepest condolences to you and your family, Chitra. I hope you continue to approach life positively.

  47. Chitra,

    I’m so sorry about the loss. My condolences. Be strong.

    Ravi

  48. Chitra,
    Your post really brought tears to my eyes. I can’t imagine how it must have been for you to see him go through so much pain. I did say a few prayers for you, your mom and your dad’s soul.

    I hope to get in touch with you soon.

    Jay

  49. Shocked to know this… My condolences to you and your family. May his soul rest in peace.

    Take care!

  50. Dear Chitra

    My Deepest Condolence for de Great loss to you n family.

    Take care

  51. ill have you in my prayers chitra, Hope you and your family have all the strength to face this

  52. My condolences. It’s a great loss indeed. May God be with you and your family.

    -sneha

  53. Chitra, it feels like a personal loss. I know there is nothing I can say that will ease your pain in this difficult time. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Staty strong…I know you will.

  54. we are really sorry for your loss. I am really glad you guys r2i’ed and spent time with your family for the last 2 years or so. I hope the almighty gives strength to you all to weather this tsunami in your life.
    on a different note this explains the recent infrequent postings from a prolific write like you.
    regards

  55. Chitra,

    My deepest condolences to you and your family for this great loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you all have gone through. The pic brought tears to my eyes…hugs to you and your dear little kids.

    BTW that surely explains the infrequent postings on this great blog.

    Regards,
    Divya

  56. Dear Chitra,

    Extremely sorry to hear of your loss. May his soul rest in peace.

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. My prayers are with you all.

    Regards,
    Suma

  57. It is absolutely beautiful that you have seen the true strength of your parents, that they have become and always will be your heros.

    You should realize that it is not something to get over, it is something to get through. Attachment and bonds are something that we are heavily dependent on, and it is beautiful.

    I have had many friends, and beautiful enduring people I know experience cancer and other terminal illnesses(as a patient, or as a loved one watching what it can do to another), and I must say that it is a blessing that you were able to be there. To take care of him, to listen, to be his daughter, his friend, and all the things that will always bond you with him.

    My deepest condolences, to you, and your family. He will certainly live through your stories, and through the examples he set for you to pass on.

    :) It is wonderful that you wrote this, and let us into your world.

    cheers.

  58. Chitra,
    Extremely sorry to hear this news. The feeling of loosing a closed one is always difficult to pen down, but you have conveyed everything in one of the most simplistic and beautiful manner.

    Hope the new year brings a lot more joy to your family.

  59. Dear Chitra
    Iam so sorry…..My condolence to you and your family…..I understand what a great loss to you and your mum particularly…Iam short of words…
    last time I saw your parents in Sandhya’s brother’s wedding.
    I’ll write to you sometime later.
    Shyamala

  60. Very sorry Chitra.
    Take care!

  61. May his soul rest in peace. I lost my dad two years ago, and it was indeed an humbling experience. May God give your family, the strength to face the coming days, months and years with a bit of cheer, though days will never be as cheerful again. What an irony, that the first time I visit your blog, I see this very sad post… My thoughts are with you all… Please do take care.

  62. Chitra,
    My god. Tight hug. what do i say. I sat reading this post with moist eyes, thinking of my parents and how they feel about me & I feel about them.
    I cant even imagine how the past couple of years have been for you. Thank you for sharing with us such a personal and important part of your life with so much grace. When you said you dont know if you will ever get over the grief, I think of my mom whose dad died when she was 22. To this day, and this is no exaggeration, at least once a day, during mealtimes, or anyother time, mom always recounts his favourite food, the way he did things, the jokes he cracked, his principles and his love. I know my grandad who I never saw probably better than most people whose grandparents are alive. In my mothers head he is always there. I cant think of my mom and not think of my grandfather. That is just the way it is. As i write this I look up and here is his picture framed above my computer table in my bedroom. I believe he is seeing me & in moments of decision making i do think of him.
    He will always be with you and your children wherever he is. And he is happy and he is smiling and soo proud of you.
    Big hug Chitra,
    love
    Vineeta.

  63. Thank you all so very much, dear people. Your kind words and your support mean a lot to me. Thank you all for stopping by. Thank you also for sharing bits and pieces from your own experiences. It all means a lot to me.

    Chitra

  64. Dear Chitra,

    I am so sorry to hear this tragedy. Many of my relatives have fallen to cancer. I have seen their suffering right from the time I was a child.

    There is little we can do when we have to face what is willed and beyond our control, other than to surrender.

    Very kind of you to have offered a helping hand.

    May God give you the strength to bear the loss. My your father’s soul rest in peace.

  65. Dear Chitra,
    Really very sorry to hear about your Dad. Take care,
    Adarsh.

  66. I am short of words. Such losses can never be filled but this will make you more stronger as a person. My condolences..

  67. Your dad would be proud of a daughter like you. You have poured your heart out with love, affection and sweet memories. God bless his soul and may he give you the strength to move on. As long as these memories still linger in your mind, your dad is never too far away from you all!

    Take Care
    Raghu

  68. Chitra,
    I am exteremly sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences.

  69. Chitra
    Sorry to hear about your loss.
    Regards
    Priya

  70. Sorry to hear about your loss Chitra,
    My hands are still shaking while I type. One can get everything or anything in life second time, except Mother and Father. By Krishna’s grace my mother survived from breast cancer which we discovered at very early stage. I can undersand the pain and situation patient and his surrounding goes thru these time.
    I’m not able to find words to express myself.
    While checking Niranj’s photostream, I came to this blog.
    Take care…

    Amit

  71. Hi Chitra:

    We are so sorry to hear about uncle. Our heart goes to you and your entire family. May god provide you with all the courage you need to go through this difficult time.

    kind regards,
    Geeta and Suresh.

  72. Dear Chitra
    It is indeed a great personal loss for you and your family. but we are all part of this process. death is one things which no one knows when it snatches away the dear ones from your supporting hands to the cluthes of death.
    my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. may the departed soul Rest In Peace. may god give you all the strength to bear the loss.
    for all this time is the healer and I hope many will agree with me on this. It is very sad to know about the end part of your fathers life. but no one can stop this and what is destined will happen and we become silent observers at that time. but certainly your family has done what best can done at this juncture and we must appreciate the efforts in keeping the news very close to you about his illness and carrying on is very very difficult for any one.
    on the cancer issue you can read the link
    http://justfemme.in/?q=node/88
    http://nychthemeron.blogspot.com/2007/10/cancer-survivors.html
    once again i pray for RIP of the departed soul and condolences to your family
    praneshachar

  73. at the out set my heart felt condolenses though belated. yes loosing some one who is so close a person a father is a great personal loss which can not be compensated. But we have to live with it as we are part of this universe and which is run by some unknown force people may call by different names but there is no doubt that a force which control all the world. Yes it is indeed great of all of you to have taken care a cancer patient with so much love and affection so he beat the timeclock given by a doctor ( this is where the other force will come into picture doctors can not give life but they can only diagonose and treat and make you good as long as u r destined to live and not a beyond one second when the death traps you into its clutches)
    True to the core your belvoed father lived and fought the dreaded decease and hats off to the grit and committment from him and the whole hearted support by you all and ofcourse medical science support given the professionals.
    life is life that no one is guaranteed a lease of life. I sincerely pray for the departed soul to rest in peace. may you and your family get the strength to bear the loss. time is the healer and we have to come to the main stream.
    i give two links about scancer surviors please go thro and I appreciate your gesture in offering support. let your tribe increase. I too reciporcate the same feelings.
    http://justfemme.in/?q=node/88
    http://nychthemeron.blogspot.com/2007/10/cancer-survivors.html
    once again praying for the departed soul and for you all to give the strength to bear a great personal loss

    praneshachar

  74. i was so sad to read about this dear Chitra.
    it’s a belated one , but i just want to say : May he rest in peace!
    and hope God will give you and your family patience .
    I lost my father of leukemia 2 years ago and i know the feeling.
    Just try to think the best times you had with him.I’m sure that’s the thing that will make his soul happier.

    best regards my dear friend.
    Eni from flickr
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/eni

  75. Dear Chitra,
    My deepest condolences to you and your family.
    I hope you find the strength and courage get you through these difficult times.
    Take care
    Suma

  76. Dearest Chitra,
    Just saw this post. What a wonderful, handsome man. Many, many hugs. He must have been so proud of you.
    Deepest condolences to you, your family and your wonderful mother.

  77. Dear Chitra-
    I just came across your wonderful blog while researching on r2Iing to Bangalore. Thank you for taking the time and effort to provide so much details.
    I am terribly terribly sorry about your dad. My prayers are with you and your family.
    -G3

  78. Dear Chitra,

    So sorry to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
    Take care,
    Vandana

  79. Deepest condolence to your family !!!
    I really don’t know what words to say … I haven’t seen/ met you personally … but as I am reading this post, tears are flowing …

  80. Read this today …
    a very touching post..
    not sure what to say..
    take care…

  81. Dear Chitra,
    I had chanced upon your blog last year and visit it often. I hadnt visited in the past month and when I did today, i read this touching tribute to your father.
    Its a tremendous loss and Im so sorry to read about it.
    You are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Hugs,
    Gayathri

  82. Chitra…..This is such a touching post……. I still Have the SMS you sent to me on tat day…. I read it every time i go to my inbox……. You dad will remain in your thoughts forever…..

  83. […] palliative care team that worked with my parents for 1.5 yrs before my dad’s passing away was probably what got us all through that testing time. The team not only takes care of the […]

  84. Dear Chitra,
    My heart goes out to you. It is never easy losing a parent. I hope you find the courage and calm to deal with your loss. Thinking of you.
    Chandan

  85. Hi Chitra akka,
    I was 8 when I stayed with you, Periyamma and Periyappa for a summer vacation. Periyappa used to take me to a morning walk. I remember there used to be a railway track until which he used to walk. He used to tell me stories while returning back. I cant forget those days.

    I shall pray for him.

    My sincere condolence,
    -sriram

  86. Dear Chitra,

    I have stumbled upon this post by chance. I want to say how sorry I am to know of your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family.

    Take care.

    Suma

  87. […] was father’s day and it was exactly 6 months ago to the day yesterday, that we lost my dad. Yes, 6 months have passed by …. in the blink of an eye. How has it been? That I can even […]

  88. Chitra, getting back to your posts after a long time. Hard to hear this news. Though I knew abt his illness from pappa when I spoke last to you, didn’t want to discuss it. I knew aunty as one bold lady always and I am sure god will keep this strength in you all, forever.

  89. […] us struggled a lot through that. The last years of this decade will probably signify that the most. He passed away a year ago – leaving behind sadness beyond measure in me. I didnt realise how shattering it could be losing […]

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